Squirrel Terrorist Follow-Up

Those of you who read my post of September 20 might be wondering about the episode’s aftermath,  and here it is: Despite my pleas, the news was reported in the police blotter section of the local newspaper that week. The editors were kind enough to protect anonymity, but they did not get the facts exactly right. The blotter mentioned that a woman called to report some sort of wild animal at large in her apartment. Well, I was understandably upset and stressed. I don’t recall saying the thing about it being a wild animal, but I might well have done so. The brief blotter submission stated that the “officers were able to eject a squirrel.”  I am not trying to diminish the gallantry or the officers’ bravery here, but I must tell you that is somewhat of an overstatement. The heroes (and it took two be-gloved men in blue) opened a window, and the terrorist rodent ran out. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad they had the presence of mind to think of that. I was operating in the fight-or-flight mode.

For those of you who didn’t catch my post that day, you can go back and read it. But I warn you, it is not for the faint of heart. Like the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing, squirrels look cute, but they are monsters. Don’t be misled on this one! Their perceived cuteness  (although I can’t see it) is deceptive. I belong to Ravelry, an online knitter’s community, and I was horrified that someone knitted a hat for a squirrel. That is disaster waiting to happen! Just look at this!!! Equipping terrorists! Certainly there are laws against such behavior!

What was she thinking! Was she high???